Something you need to forgive yourself for...
I've thought about this one a lot...There are a lot of things that I should forgive myself for, but there's one in particular that is really hard for me to let go of...
When I was a senior in High school, our Choir went on tour to San Fransisco. Ben and I started dating that year and he somehow managed to make his way on Choir tour, even though he wasn't in choir...(I honestly don't remember how he did, but I was thrilled!) My awesome mom...my working full time to help support our family and pay for this choir tour mom...took time off of work to come and be a chaperon on this trip. I was excited. I love my mom. However, once we got to California and all checked in to the hotel, I completely forgot that my mother even existed. Yeah... me the bratty teenager...ditched my own mom in a strange city and went off to play with my friends and my boyfriend. Yup, I am that selfish. She even called after me at one outing, but did I stop? Nope, kept right on going. I don't remember hearing her call after me, but several witnesses said she did and I am pretty sure they're right...I guess I had selective hearing that day...We spent the day at Six Flags and every time I saw someone from my choir group they would say, "Hey, Laura, your Mom is looking for you," and I would say "Okay," thinking in the back of my mind that it was no big deal and I would run in to her eventually. I never did, until we were getting on the bus to go back to the hotel. I could tell that she wasn't very happy with me. And guess what I did? Went to the back of the bus and sat with Ben. Yeah, I kind of suck.
This whole thing causes me guilt to no end. I still get that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I think about it and it was 13 years ago. I have even apologized to her, and she has forgiven me, but I still feel like poo about it!
So, I need to come to grips with the fact that it was THIRTEEN years ago and my sweet Mom has probably totally forgotten about it. I need to forget about it too...any advice?
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You know I am sure I did something like that to my mom at some point or another. I don't stew about it but I also don't forget. It reminds me to never forget how awesome my mom is, to never take advantage of her, and to spend lots of time with her. Try using the memory for your good.
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