Sundays...

I need to vent. I kind of hate Sundays. I didn't always hate Sundays. In fact, I used to like them a lot. We would get up, get ourselves and our cute kids ready and head to church where we could feel the spirit and have great lessons. Our ward is full of spiritual, fantastic people. That all changed when Owen was born. He has been my most difficult baby by far. I am at a loss for what to do with him. Our other kids would struggle a little when they were babies at church. It does usually interrupt nap time and the like, but we could always get them to settle down and fall asleep while we were holding them. Not Owen. Church has been one big nightmare since he quit sleeping all the time like a newborn. We got to church early today (which is huge for us!!) and Sacrament meeting hadn't even started before I was out in the hall with the baby. And the more tired he gets, the louder he screams and cries. I fed him, and he was fine while he was eating. He even fell asleep. But as soon as I moved, he woke up and it all started again. We tried bringing his favorite little animal to snuggle with. Didn't work. He won't take a binky, so it's really hard to get him to settle down. I can't even walk through the halls with him because we meet at 11 and there is another ward that is having their class time, so a screaming baby walking through the halls is quite disruptive. And he doesn't cry quietly. This kid's cry actually hurts my ears. It's too cold to go outside with him. There just seems to be no point in going to church anymore. I can't even sit in the foyer and listen over the PA because Owen is just so loud. It's very discouraging and, let's be honest, I don't have very calm, peaceful or spiritual thoughts while I am holding and trying to quiet a shrieking baby. I think we are just going to have to start alternating who gets to go to church with the other kids on Sundays. I just can't do this anymore. I am having very resentful feelings towards my poor little baby who just likes to sleep in his swing in his own room in his own house. I find myself feeling very jealous of the moms whose babies sleep peacefully in their arms during church. Anyone have any brilliant suggestions as to how I can actually go to church and sit through more than 5 minutes?? Any help would be appreciated. Feeling very hopeless right about now...