So, every year it is my "resolution" to get in better shape, lose weight, be more healthy, yadda, yadda, yadda. And, not surprisingly, every year I fail epically. My sweet husband knows how abysmally unhappy I am in my current body and tries so hard to help motivate me to get my butt in gear and "get 'er done" so to speak. But I still struggle immensely with the motivation to finally get back my high school body. This year, I think we may have found a plan!
I have been bugging and begging Ben for years to take a trip with the kids to Disneyland. True confession: I have an unhealthy obsession with Disneyland. I don't know why...I've only been there a handful of times. I think 5 to be exact. Maybe that's it...anyway...I just love it there. It is so magical to me! There is something truly amazing about walking through those front gates and being transported to another world. I literally feel like a little kid again! I want to run up and hug Mickey and Minnie and whatever other character crosses my path! I love the food and the smells and the sounds! My parents took us all there for Christmas 4 years ago and I cried for at least half of the ride home because I really didn't want to leave. It's my dream to get stuck in the park over night!! Anyway, I digress...I came up with the idea that maybe, as each of our children turn 8 years old, we could take a family trip to Disneyland the month of their birthdays to celebrate. After all, 8 is a pretty special birthday around these parts...super fun tradition, right?!? Well, Evan turns 8 this year...thus our plan was born!
I now have a goal to be at the weight I was when we got married by the beginning of August. I currently have 38 lbs to lose to get there. This is a totally doable goal. However, I have learned something about myself...rewards for me must be tangible. I don't do well with the whole "the feeling is the best reward I could ever have!" thing...I need to have something solid to reach toward, not just a warm fuzzy feeling...
So Ben & I agreed on this deal; if I get to that goal we will take a family trip to Disneyland for Evan's 8th birthday!!! It will be even more cool because that will also be the month that Owen turns 1! What a totally fun 1st/8th birthday, yes?!? I made myself a weight loss chart/graph and it is hanging on my bathroom mirror. For once, I actually feel like I have the motivation to do this!! So, I am asking everyone to please help keep me on track!! This would mean the world to me! But, I need to also ask that, if you see any of my kids, don't say anything about it! Because if I don't achieve this goal, we aren't going and I don't want to break their hearts should the unthinkable happen! Not to mention Evan wouldn't sleep for the next six months if he knew that there was a possibility that we were going to Disneyland. We are planning on waking them up at the crack of dawn and telling them about the trip the morning that we are going to leave! :D
So, here we go! I can do this! I know I can! Please pray for me all the same though!! :)
Friday, January 20, 2012
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Food for Thought...
Thanksgiving is tomorrow. I always try to stop and think of a few things that I am thankful for each year, but I have to admit that I usually take a lot more for granted than I acknowledge my gratitude for. The other day I stumbled across this blog and it knocked me flat on my fanny. I sat in my chair by the window reading the posts on this site and sobbing hysterically. In the aftermath, I find myself much more grateful this year than I have ever been in my life. Because I realize all that I have to be thankful for. This sweet mother who lost her 7 month old baby to a liver disease (I think) puts it so well when she says that she would give anything to have spit up in her hair again. How many times have I lost my temper over stupid things like being spit up on? At least I still have the precious baby that spit up on me!
So, on this Thanksgiving Holiday, I will hug each one of my kids a little tighter. I will breath in the smell of my sweet little Owen as he is snuggled on my shoulder. I will not get frustrated at changing the twelfth poopy diaper of the day, or changing my clothes for the third time after being spit up on. I will cherish every quiet moment I have to hold and rock my little baby who will only be little for so long. I will remember to breathe when something doesn't go quite how I would like it to. I will try really hard not to yell at my kids for doing something that (though it may be irritating) is not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things! Most of all, I will remember to thank my gracious Father in Heaven for giving me these four rambunctious, funny, adorable, HEALTHY spirits to raise and enjoy.
I hope you all can take a minute to be thankful for all that you have as well.
Happy Thanksgiving!
So, on this Thanksgiving Holiday, I will hug each one of my kids a little tighter. I will breath in the smell of my sweet little Owen as he is snuggled on my shoulder. I will not get frustrated at changing the twelfth poopy diaper of the day, or changing my clothes for the third time after being spit up on. I will cherish every quiet moment I have to hold and rock my little baby who will only be little for so long. I will remember to breathe when something doesn't go quite how I would like it to. I will try really hard not to yell at my kids for doing something that (though it may be irritating) is not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things! Most of all, I will remember to thank my gracious Father in Heaven for giving me these four rambunctious, funny, adorable, HEALTHY spirits to raise and enjoy.
I hope you all can take a minute to be thankful for all that you have as well.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Being a Mother of FOUR...
So, when we found out we were expecting our fourth child...I must admit, I had NO IDEA what was in store! For me, adjusting to the birth of my second child was much more difficult than adjusting to the birth of my third. So, with that in mind, I assumed that adding a fourth would be similar to adding the third...well, we all know what assuming does!! I love my little Owen...but he really likes to be held...and he really likes to suck...but he won't take a binky...so he spends a lot of time sucking on my finger! (I know it's a little weird, but I always make sure my hands are clean and it is often the only thing that will sooth him...whatever works, right??)
I used to feel like I was able to stay on top of household things, like laundry and dishes and vacuuming...NOT ANYMORE!! My laundry room is OVERFLOWING with dirty clothes, the counter top is OVERFLOWING with dirty dishes and my floor is COVERED in dog hair! I can manage to get the clothes clean (with a LOT of help from my laundry fairy, Dillon) but it seems impossible to get it all folded and put away! I can get a load of dishes into the dishwasher and started, but then I cook another meal and the counter fills again before I can get the first batch unloaded and put away. And vacuuming...we won't even go there! My Grandma used to have an embroidered sign that hung in her house that said, "My house was clean yesterday...sorry you missed it!" and it never made much sense to me because I remember her house was always clean! Now I get it! She raised four children too! As I type this, I am holding a squeaking baby and typing with one hand!
So, maybe I will invest in a whole lot of disposable dishes...and maybe we will all just have to wear dirty clothes...at least for the next 6 months or so! Good thing this squeaky baby is so cute! He makes it all worth it!!
I used to feel like I was able to stay on top of household things, like laundry and dishes and vacuuming...NOT ANYMORE!! My laundry room is OVERFLOWING with dirty clothes, the counter top is OVERFLOWING with dirty dishes and my floor is COVERED in dog hair! I can manage to get the clothes clean (with a LOT of help from my laundry fairy, Dillon) but it seems impossible to get it all folded and put away! I can get a load of dishes into the dishwasher and started, but then I cook another meal and the counter fills again before I can get the first batch unloaded and put away. And vacuuming...we won't even go there! My Grandma used to have an embroidered sign that hung in her house that said, "My house was clean yesterday...sorry you missed it!" and it never made much sense to me because I remember her house was always clean! Now I get it! She raised four children too! As I type this, I am holding a squeaking baby and typing with one hand!
So, maybe I will invest in a whole lot of disposable dishes...and maybe we will all just have to wear dirty clothes...at least for the next 6 months or so! Good thing this squeaky baby is so cute! He makes it all worth it!!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
He's Finally Here!!
For all of those who don't know, our 4th child, Owen Chance Ellis, joined our family at 1:32 AM on Sept. 27th! He was in a BIG hurry to get here! I woke up feeling my first real contractions shortly after 1 AM and he was born half an hour later! (For the complete story you can go here, trust me, it's worth the read!) He weighed 8 lbs, 6 oz and was 20 inches long. Our biggest baby by almost a pound! He is fitting in very well with our family. All the kids (yes, even Kaylie) love him to pieces! They are always asking if they can hold the baby or touch the baby or kiss the baby. Kaylie calls him "baby Omen" which I think is really adorable, especially in her little helium voice!! :) My recovery is going well. I am currently fighting a UTI, but hopefully once that clears up I will be almost back to normal.
I am feeling very thoughtful the past few days. It's hard to explain my feelings...it's no secret that I pretty much hated being pregnant for the last three months or so, but looking back now, I wish I would have tried to relax and enjoy it just a little more. After all, I'll probably never get that chance again. We are ready to move on to the next stage of our lives, raising and teaching and enjoying our kiddos as they grow, but the baby stage is done now. I am really grateful that we decided to do HypnoBirthing this time around. Owen's birth was such an amazing, spiritual, intimate, empowering experience. I truly wish I could have done that with all of my other babies! I wish I could have experienced this labor/delivery for a little bit longer than I did (32 mins isn't very long to labor!) just to say that I got to use some of the amazing relaxation techniques that I learned and to really take control of my body. I almost feel like I cheated a little bit and didn't have to work for this baby! :) But I wouldn't trade this experience for the world and Owen is such a perfect result! I am having a hard time letting go of this experience. My HypnoBirthing practice schedule is still up on my fridge. I can't bring myself to take down the friendly reminder to relax daily and practice my breathing and to work with my husband regularly to achieve the most favorable outcome possible from this labor. I was so excited to be done...and now I find myself crying because I don't want to let go...(stupid hormones)!
So, the long and short of this post I guess...Through this experience I have learned that I am a strong person and I can do hard things! I birthed a baby on the living room floor! (If you didn't click on the link and read the story, you missed all that!) Owen is a perfect little blessing from a very loving Heavenly Father. I hope I can live up to His trust and expectations by raising a strong little boy, a worthy Missionary, and a caring, devoted husband and father. I hope he turns out to be like his own Dad who stood right by my side through this whole thing. I love you Ben. And I love you too, Owen! I am so excited to get to know you!
I am feeling very thoughtful the past few days. It's hard to explain my feelings...it's no secret that I pretty much hated being pregnant for the last three months or so, but looking back now, I wish I would have tried to relax and enjoy it just a little more. After all, I'll probably never get that chance again. We are ready to move on to the next stage of our lives, raising and teaching and enjoying our kiddos as they grow, but the baby stage is done now. I am really grateful that we decided to do HypnoBirthing this time around. Owen's birth was such an amazing, spiritual, intimate, empowering experience. I truly wish I could have done that with all of my other babies! I wish I could have experienced this labor/delivery for a little bit longer than I did (32 mins isn't very long to labor!) just to say that I got to use some of the amazing relaxation techniques that I learned and to really take control of my body. I almost feel like I cheated a little bit and didn't have to work for this baby! :) But I wouldn't trade this experience for the world and Owen is such a perfect result! I am having a hard time letting go of this experience. My HypnoBirthing practice schedule is still up on my fridge. I can't bring myself to take down the friendly reminder to relax daily and practice my breathing and to work with my husband regularly to achieve the most favorable outcome possible from this labor. I was so excited to be done...and now I find myself crying because I don't want to let go...(stupid hormones)!
So, the long and short of this post I guess...Through this experience I have learned that I am a strong person and I can do hard things! I birthed a baby on the living room floor! (If you didn't click on the link and read the story, you missed all that!) Owen is a perfect little blessing from a very loving Heavenly Father. I hope I can live up to His trust and expectations by raising a strong little boy, a worthy Missionary, and a caring, devoted husband and father. I hope he turns out to be like his own Dad who stood right by my side through this whole thing. I love you Ben. And I love you too, Owen! I am so excited to get to know you!
Friday, September 2, 2011
36 weeks & 6 days...but who's counting really?
I will be 37 weeks pregnant on Sunday. I am SOOOOOO ready to be done! There are times that I love being pregnant. I love to feel the baby wiggle and kick. I love having an excuse to eat a little extra of my favorite things! And, let's be honest, when my belly is huge, my boobs look a LOT smaller! :) However, when I get to this point, it gets to be a little much for me. My hips and back are extremely painful, especially at night. I feel like I am constantly trying to catch my breath, and my heart races when I do something as simple as walk up the stairs. The heartburn is ridiculous...oh, and I am really tired of getting up every two hours to pee...
I know I shouldn't complain. I truly feel blessed that my body can do amazing things, like grow an entire human being, but at the end, it's just so darn uncomfortable! I am just super anxious to get this little one here, meet him/her, and start getting my body back...so here's to hoping that this baby will come sooner rather than later and certainly not any later than Sept 25th, which is the actual due date!!
I know I shouldn't complain. I truly feel blessed that my body can do amazing things, like grow an entire human being, but at the end, it's just so darn uncomfortable! I am just super anxious to get this little one here, meet him/her, and start getting my body back...so here's to hoping that this baby will come sooner rather than later and certainly not any later than Sept 25th, which is the actual due date!!
Monday, August 1, 2011
32 Weeks...and counting!
Well, I am officially 32 weeks pregnant! I went to the Midwife this morning and I am measuring 33 cm (hopefully that means a baby that will come a little bit earlier than later!) and things look good! The placenta previa from before is gone. Like I said...90% chance that it will move up and out of the way, which it did! Baby is head down and fluid levels are great! I feel pretty good (aside from hip/lower back discomfort that is oh so common for me during pregnancy!)
I can't believe how fast the time has flown this pregnancy...I only have 8 weeks left (if that) and that seems crazy to me!! We have been trying to get everything ready for the new baby. Kaylie is now downstairs with the boys in the "big kid room" and is settling in there. Some nights are a little difficult for the three of them (meaning mostly Kaylie) to settle down, but for the most part, they are all adjusting well. Once the baby is born and we know the gender, there will be some room adjusting in the future, but this works for now!
The kids are getting excited! They love to feel the baby kick and move when they sit on my lap or snuggle with me (since, let's be honest, I don't have much of a lap left)! Ben is feeling much better after his appendectomy three weeks ago, for which I am very grateful! He was even able to help me paint the nursery! :) And he loved every second of it! But it looks so cute! I will add pictures when I get the room put back together! The boys were such a big help with the painting and furniture rearranging! They are so sweet, I can't believe how lucky I am!
So, here's to the next eight weeks...may we get everything that we can ready for this blessed occasion! I can't wait to meet our new little one and hold him/her in my arms!
I can't believe how fast the time has flown this pregnancy...I only have 8 weeks left (if that) and that seems crazy to me!! We have been trying to get everything ready for the new baby. Kaylie is now downstairs with the boys in the "big kid room" and is settling in there. Some nights are a little difficult for the three of them (meaning mostly Kaylie) to settle down, but for the most part, they are all adjusting well. Once the baby is born and we know the gender, there will be some room adjusting in the future, but this works for now!
The kids are getting excited! They love to feel the baby kick and move when they sit on my lap or snuggle with me (since, let's be honest, I don't have much of a lap left)! Ben is feeling much better after his appendectomy three weeks ago, for which I am very grateful! He was even able to help me paint the nursery! :) And he loved every second of it! But it looks so cute! I will add pictures when I get the room put back together! The boys were such a big help with the painting and furniture rearranging! They are so sweet, I can't believe how lucky I am!
So, here's to the next eight weeks...may we get everything that we can ready for this blessed occasion! I can't wait to meet our new little one and hold him/her in my arms!
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
A Pensive Day...
I find myself lost in thought today...thoughts of a new baby (who is starting to kick so hard that it takes my breath away sometimes!), thoughts of my other three wonderful children, thoughts of my amazing husband, thoughts of my childhood (some good, most not so pleasant)...my list could go on and on really...and I feel the need to sort them out. So here I go. Please feel free to skip this post if you'd like, it will mostly be me rambling and will probably get boring! I will not take offense, I promise!
New baby on the way...let's just be honest...little bit terrified about this prospect! Excited, yes; blessed, yes; humbled, beyond belief; but also scared. I am not the world's most patient person! I lose my temper at the drop of a hat (and over the stupidest things...my poor kids). I don't deal well with change, or lack of sleep, or the self consciousness that comes with a very rapidly growing body. When we first got married there was much discussion and the conclusion was made that four would be the perfect number of children for our family. Now that I am faced with just that scenario...I find myself doubting that I can really do this! I already feel crazy outnumbered! I find myself uttering silent prayers on a very regular basis begging for the strength and mental stamina to do this.We had our ultrasound a few weeks ago and found out that I have placenta previa, (my placenta is covering the opening to my uterus blocking the baby's way out) which, after much discussion and research, is potentially a very minor deal. There is about a 90% chance that it will move up and out of the baby's way by the time the baby is due. I am trying really hard to just relax and not dwell on this. After all, there is NOTHING that I can do to change this situation. But it makes me just a little nervous to think that my plans for a totally natural birth may be changing. (See previous statement about not handling change well!) So, until my follow up ultrasound in 4 and a half weeks (not that I'm counting), I am just trying to have positive thoughts and affirmations that everything will be fine! The baby looks perfect! Good, strong heart, fully formed spine, good looking brain, no cleft lip or pallet...you know, all the important stuff! So I will focus on that! But any positive thoughts/prayers you want to send my way would be appreciated!
My other three kids...I am so lucky and blessed to be "Mom" to these three incredible spirits! They keep me on my toes! It never ceases to amaze me that the same combination of genetic material can produce such vastly different outcomes! :) Evan is my little brainiac! He loves to read and write. He comes up with some of the most creative ideas for stories! I often find him reading stories to Kaylie (she will ask him to read to her before she will ask me sometimes!) He is such a caring, considerate big brother! Dillon is my little tender heart. He is so snuggly! He loves to be my big helper. He especially likes helping me with the laundry and coming to the grocery store with me! I can always count on Dillon for a cuddle and a sweet smile if I've had a hard day. And my little princess! Kaylie is such a sweet girl! I can't believe how fast she is learning and growing. I feel like I missed out on so much of that while I was working. It's like I blinked and she wasn't a baby anymore...She loves her big brothers! She has a hard time going to bed at night if they aren't there to sing her songs and give her kisses! I find myself wishing I could freeze time and just savor every little thing that they do...they are growing and changing so fast.
You know, after listing their most sweet attributes, I am getting more excited to see how they interact with a new little one! There will be some rough adjustments ahead I am sure, but I have no doubt that this new little one was meant to be a part of our family and I know that Heavenly Father will bless us all (even Kaylie!) with the extra room in our hearts for this precious addition!
My amazing husband...I am so blessed to have Ben in my life! I lost sight of that blessing for a while and I am grateful every day for the miracle of his selfless love, patience, forgiveness and willingness to let go of the past and move forward. He is such a wonderful daddy! I think we balance each other out quite nicely and I am so lucky to have him to share this parenting journey with!!
I think I will wrap this up before it gets too long!! Thank you for letting me vent! It is amazing how clear my thoughts become when I sort through them and put them all out there! It really helps me find and focus on the positive things! I really am looking forward to this next step in my little journey through this life!!
New baby on the way...let's just be honest...little bit terrified about this prospect! Excited, yes; blessed, yes; humbled, beyond belief; but also scared. I am not the world's most patient person! I lose my temper at the drop of a hat (and over the stupidest things...my poor kids). I don't deal well with change, or lack of sleep, or the self consciousness that comes with a very rapidly growing body. When we first got married there was much discussion and the conclusion was made that four would be the perfect number of children for our family. Now that I am faced with just that scenario...I find myself doubting that I can really do this! I already feel crazy outnumbered! I find myself uttering silent prayers on a very regular basis begging for the strength and mental stamina to do this.We had our ultrasound a few weeks ago and found out that I have placenta previa, (my placenta is covering the opening to my uterus blocking the baby's way out) which, after much discussion and research, is potentially a very minor deal. There is about a 90% chance that it will move up and out of the baby's way by the time the baby is due. I am trying really hard to just relax and not dwell on this. After all, there is NOTHING that I can do to change this situation. But it makes me just a little nervous to think that my plans for a totally natural birth may be changing. (See previous statement about not handling change well!) So, until my follow up ultrasound in 4 and a half weeks (not that I'm counting), I am just trying to have positive thoughts and affirmations that everything will be fine! The baby looks perfect! Good, strong heart, fully formed spine, good looking brain, no cleft lip or pallet...you know, all the important stuff! So I will focus on that! But any positive thoughts/prayers you want to send my way would be appreciated!
My other three kids...I am so lucky and blessed to be "Mom" to these three incredible spirits! They keep me on my toes! It never ceases to amaze me that the same combination of genetic material can produce such vastly different outcomes! :) Evan is my little brainiac! He loves to read and write. He comes up with some of the most creative ideas for stories! I often find him reading stories to Kaylie (she will ask him to read to her before she will ask me sometimes!) He is such a caring, considerate big brother! Dillon is my little tender heart. He is so snuggly! He loves to be my big helper. He especially likes helping me with the laundry and coming to the grocery store with me! I can always count on Dillon for a cuddle and a sweet smile if I've had a hard day. And my little princess! Kaylie is such a sweet girl! I can't believe how fast she is learning and growing. I feel like I missed out on so much of that while I was working. It's like I blinked and she wasn't a baby anymore...She loves her big brothers! She has a hard time going to bed at night if they aren't there to sing her songs and give her kisses! I find myself wishing I could freeze time and just savor every little thing that they do...they are growing and changing so fast.
You know, after listing their most sweet attributes, I am getting more excited to see how they interact with a new little one! There will be some rough adjustments ahead I am sure, but I have no doubt that this new little one was meant to be a part of our family and I know that Heavenly Father will bless us all (even Kaylie!) with the extra room in our hearts for this precious addition!My amazing husband...I am so blessed to have Ben in my life! I lost sight of that blessing for a while and I am grateful every day for the miracle of his selfless love, patience, forgiveness and willingness to let go of the past and move forward. He is such a wonderful daddy! I think we balance each other out quite nicely and I am so lucky to have him to share this parenting journey with!!
I think I will wrap this up before it gets too long!! Thank you for letting me vent! It is amazing how clear my thoughts become when I sort through them and put them all out there! It really helps me find and focus on the positive things! I really am looking forward to this next step in my little journey through this life!!
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